drecle

Random

2007-06-06T23:27:13Z

Crunchy tortilla, with melted shredded cheese, cut up hot dog, and cottage cheese. HAH! I am a genious!

Since I got home i've slept extremely well. I hadn't realized this till not sleeping last night. I got maybe 2hrs. at the most when the sun was starting to come up, then went to work. What I have noticed though is that I've been dreaming like crazy. Saddly mostly nightmares. Last night Hank was trying to kill me.

Liz Crosby, one of my customers had a birthday the other day. So I just finished baking a bread for her. She's always making my dad and me food, so I thought it was my turn. I've never made bread before, and I was alone so I had no help. But It looks great, and smells really really good. My only fault is that I only made one loaf, so I can't even try it. Hopefully its good, its Carrot walnut.

Why do I keep hearing of so many deaths? My great Aunt died this past semester, my grandfathers sister died two weeks ago, my moms cousins wife died a few days ago, Tina's boyfriend's grandmother just died. scarry when death shows up so much.

drecle @ 2007-04-28T23:46:00

2007-04-29T03:50:56Z

wo wo Dylan Towne just found me on myspace. Blast from the past. He doesn't even look the same. I mean the only pic i have was a hockey one from before i knew him in 7th grade when we dated......eh wierd.

drecle @ 2007-04-28T00:46:00

2007-04-28T04:49:10Z

This should not be so hard on my back.......I have an idea. I should have a party for massages when we're all home. Sound good?
I just wish I could get one now.

drecle @ 2007-04-28T00:40:00

2007-04-28T04:45:03Z

Just a few more days and then I wont have internet till I go home in two weeks. It is sad how dependant I get on the thing. I feel cut off without it. Here anyways. Once I go home I hardly even go on. My need is gone when the people I want to see are there, and I'm not by my self all the time. I shall miss NJ, but I'll be saying good ridance at the same time. Going to school made me realize that I will never live anywhere other than home. I'll travel, but I will not go for long.

BBQ!!

2007-04-26T02:15:44Z

Is anyone going to be around the weekend of may 18-20th? Depending on the whether I wanted to have a cook out one of those days at my dads. Let me know if you'll be around, if no ones home, maybe the next weekend?
I figure I'd try and get everyone to bring something, maybe have a fire pit, play some frisby.

When Schools out let the summer fun begin

drecle @ 2007-04-16T22:04:00

2007-04-17T02:11:49Z

I seriously need to start screaming into my pillow.....anyone with me? I'm stressed bogged down with work I don't think i'll finish, the weather sucks, it's all making me extremely depressed. All I won't to do is read. Bury my head in a book and think of nothing else. Once this week is over I think I'm going to go dancing. I have so much to do, but I think it'll help me a lot. Amanda promised to work on my back. (since this is what she does for a living, I'm very exited) my body's not too happy with me.

Today made me hate the president more than I did before. 4 months is now more like 7. Fuck You!!!

drecle @ 2007-04-09T20:28:00

2007-04-10T00:36:45Z

I predict the next 5 weeks to be insane, stressful, and yet wonderfull. The next 4 months saddly will go slow, way too slow.

I want the stress to be gone so I can just enjoy that last part of the semester. Kierstin stopped by today, we'll see her again in 3 weeks.

Hopfully this summer will consist of a lot of work, camping, hiking, climbing, kyaking, the beach, reading, sleeping, painting and always friends close by. After this summer it'll be my last year at DuCret, so I need to start figuring out what I'm to do next.

Not this semester but the next I will hopefully be going with the school on the trip to Rome and all around. Although my mum seems to think that it'd be better if she and I just went on our own. So we could do totally what we wanted, and not just stay with a group. I'm not sure what I'd rather. Either way we'll find a way to go.

The world seems grey since saturday, maybe my painting will bring back the color.

drecle @ 2007-03-16T00:38:00

2007-03-16T04:43:00Z

It takes 7 times as long to clean my brushes, than to clean me.

Havn't had coffee in a while, and I forgot how strong the Academy makes theirs. I havn't had coffee that strong in a while. It made class very fun, and extremely productive. But its 3 hours since class is over, maybe more like 4 1/2 hours since I had the coffee, and I'm shaking really really bad. Thank you Mike, but maybe next time I'll stick to regular strengthened coffee.

drecle @ 2007-03-14T23:42:00

2007-03-15T03:55:09Z

Frank ( Our Dean ) walked around today with a raccoon hat. It was hilarious, especially when he scared Monika. I guess Terry put it partially sticking out from under his desk. She got him good. We've recently had a raccoon problem, that I think they took care of, in the ceiling of the 4th story studio spaces. Just another day at DuCret.

I skipped class ( with Tommy's permission) for a matting and framing presentation. The matting I know, so it was slightly pointless, but then again I did learn some really good tips for different mediums, and I didn't know what to do for the framing. When I get back from spring break I'll have 5 weeks to decide what I'm putting into the Fine Art Show, matt them, frame them, and label them.

By the time the lady was done, there wasn't much point to having class, so we al lied in the sun outside. It was about 70 today and beautiful. I'm trying not to think about the possible snow on friday.

drecle @ 2007-03-12T21:58:00

2007-03-13T01:59:08Z

I was wondering why I was so tired. I then remembered that I didn't sleep last night. Guess my painting will have to wait till tomorrow. I wasn't getting much done anyways.

I'm sorry but my insanity is by choice.
There are no solutions,
There are only my illusions.
--Neek--

Eeeek, I love you

2007-03-12T01:30:39Z

jumpin up and down up and down, Hank is the bestest ever!I had 2 dollars, and thats what pizza costs at lunch tomorrow. My tank is totally empty, so no driving. My moms gave me money for school at the beggining of the year for rent tuition and a little extra which I use for school supplies, comcast bill, and pills. My dad sends money for rent and food, and gas. I don't use it for anything else. What they give isn't really enough, so my last food money went to gas and supplies. I still had enough of food, living on pb&j isn't so bad. If they knew this they'd be mad, but i just can't ask for more cuz i feel so bad they're paying as much as they are. So when my mum said I should take lessons in dance or something so that I don't feel out of shape. I said yeah with what money? I have 2 dollars and no gas.
The result I feel bad, but am extremely bouncy about is that Hank just came over and gave me money and I chocolate bar. My mouth dropped. He gave me a lot. I wish I could think of something I could do for him, he's always helping me out. I'm not stupid, i'm not going to spend it on nothing. Some will probably pay my next school supplies bill. But Rita's opened on saturday so I really want to go. When I go home I'll work over spring break. That way I have spending money that I'll feel I can spend on whatever. Cuz once summers here, and I start working it goes inot the bank.

drecle @ 2007-03-10T23:37:00

2007-03-11T04:41:37Z

I guess sometimes all we need is a change. I have been feeling a lot better, although I'm scared to let my guard down. There is always the same stuff to do, it just seems to always get chaotic. Staying balanced is not as easy as it should be. I'm still not sure what caused my weeks of moodiness, anger, frustration and all out depression, but really it does not matter. In a week I'll be home, and that is what I look forward to.

I have the unknown answer

2007-03-08T04:28:59Z

Talked to Tommy a lot today and he completely shattered my walls. How is it that he can read me so well, when so many others who know me a lot better can't? I'm not really sure what to think right now, and going by what he said, I shouldn't. That's part of the problem. It's weird that just the other night I was reading silence of the lambs, and how he picks apart Clarice so easily, seeing what she hides and doesn't even know herself. At that time I wondered what that would be like, and what he would say to me. I have an idea now. Truth hurts, and even though I knew some of it before I just ignored it. I didn't think it would affect me as much, or more so affect my art. When I think about it, I have a lot of walls for a lot of things. I have a lot of rules and guides I go by. To a point some are wise, but not most.
I'm glad I approached him about the class. I didn't want to do sequential art, it wasn't what i thought, and what i thought wasn't good either. So now he's working independently with me. It should have been like this all along. He threatens my way of thinking and explanation. He takes my answers away and smiles why I scramble to find a new one. It is amusing to him partly because of the way the mind works. The way we are we have to have an answer, because otherwise we feel angry or freaked in some way. We throw out easy simple answers just to make the problem go away because we don't want to think about it for too long. The unknown scares us too much.
When I first came here, a lot changed. What I thought on so many levels changed. My mind opened up so much. I had no idea it had been so closed. Since then I've fallen back into routine. I've followed the lessons worked hard at my work, but I wan't getting challenged anymore. And I was learning upon what I've know learned, but not completely new things. When I see how far I have to go and feels so frightening. Yes I feel that I have come far, but I have so much more to go. Lately I have fallen into my work which is good to get it done and it's more enjoyable, but it's dangerous too. Art is one of those things that you need to step away and see from a different view before continuing. And I have done this, but only physically.
What now, what now.

drecle @ 2007-03-04T23:27:00

2007-03-05T04:28:26Z

it's odd that i miss my long hair so much, but at the same time want to cut the rest all off.

drecle @ 2007-03-03T22:42:00

2007-03-04T03:54:30Z

Amanda totally rocks my world and knows how to cheer me up.

drecle @ 2007-03-01T22:49:00

2007-03-02T03:52:24Z

These showed up midday on thursday. They made my day much brighter.

drecle @ 2007-02-27T22:17:00

2007-02-28T03:20:59Z

today mostly sucked
but got slightly better after school was out. I didn't stay till 930 like i had planed but i still got work done, and linz made me food.

best part of the day was when the money ate the machine......i still find it funny. Probably cuz i'm so tired, which is the reason i said it in the first place. The drink machine was just telling me in it's own way that an energy drink was a bad idea. Especially since it would have been my last dollar.

drecle @ 2007-02-25T20:36:00

2007-02-26T01:59:44Z

Wow, so to end an unusual weekend, I got hit on by a 29 year old puertarican who i had a hard time understanding some of the time.
Josh visited this weekend and it was great. He is awsome, I mean seriously to drive 5 hours alone. Kierstin and Rany came over late last night, and left about late morning. I missed kierstin so bad, so seeing her was great. Although once we put the movie on her and randy just kept going off to talk and act giggly. They kept going outside so Randy could smoke, they must have woken up Mrs. Walters, I don't know but how could they not. Truthfully I was a bit mad at them. Josh and I spent a few hours at Lindsays house too, chilled and watched a movie. Using a lame excuse to leave so i wouldn't have to tell her that I was hanging with K. After Josh left I went off with Tito and his girls little sister. HJe has friends in Elizabeth that I think was doing his taxes for him. We chilled there for a while. Guys kept poppin up, then disapearing. Tito introduced me to his friend Jesus, who talked with me about art, oils mostly, music, dance, and such. He was sweet, would have been more interesting if he didn't creep me out so bad hitting on me. Tito said why don't you give him your # while we were leaving.....I could have killed him. So I couldn't say no without being rude, so I did. Or actually he gave me his and I called his, let it ring a few times, then hung up. I found out later that it didn't work, my # never went through, I feel mean, but I don't think i'll call again. Maybe I'll see him again, and chill. He's cool, but just needs to back off a bit.

a little better at last

2007-02-21T20:05:38Z

Yay! first I'm sorry that Tommy doesn't feel well, so get better!!! But I'm glad he wasn't here so i could finish matting my picture. Also so that I can do my work at home and watch a movie so i can figure out a pose in my next acrylic picture. This way I get two things done at once.

Mrs. Walters is home from the hospital after a week & 1/2. I was worried, I'm glad she's back and better now.

It's spring out whats goin on? Its so warm and sunny, I wish I could work outside but I have nothing that I can sit on while working here, the ground is to wet. I've accepted that this winter sucked. I went skating, and cross country skiing a little, and i made a 6'' tall snowman. So i'll say i'm happy, and welcome this spring. I'd actually prefer it to come. I'd like to wear less layers like today. And I can't wait when it's so nice out that i can work outside all the time.

drecle @ 2007-02-17T17:31:00

2007-02-17T22:31:42Z

I'm so out of shape.

drecle @ 2007-02-17T15:16:00

2007-02-17T20:18:44Z

Ug how do you make someone you don't like go away without being mean? Especially after getting a call, and listen to them talk about their girlfriend on and on, together for 4 months and now engaged. Aaa just leave me alone.

drecle @ 2007-02-15T19:14:00

2007-02-16T00:17:57Z

grr, ok then. Well class was chancelled. Model is sick and called 45 min. before class started. Frank called Mrs. Walters house #, they didn't have my cell #, now they do. I got there, and Frank said he'd drive me home. But I had to wait till he made sure everyone got his message, or showed up so he could tell them, and shut the lights off and lock up. I probably could have been home 45 min ago, but at least I didn't have to walk.....its so cold.

happy / sad

2007-02-15T23:23:34Z

I got my boots back today. I've avoided wearing them for about a year because they were falling apart. Hank went to get them fixed and I felt like jumping up and down when he brought them over to me. The guy even put new straps and buckles on. I'm not totally happy about that though. It's nice that there's one on each since i've been missing one for a few years, but even with one i liked the other ones better. He didn't give the old one back. I just put them on, and I'm telling myself that i'll get used to them. He put a new soul in, fuzzy like the original had once been. I love my boots, it's just that they don't feel like my boots anymore. They feel different and I find myself not totally exited anymore. The soul will wear down like the other, maybe then it won't be as wierd. I think it's also the piece of leather at the heel. That was where it needed it the most. From putting my foot in and out so many time it really got worn down till it was pretty much gone. I think it sticks out more than the old backing. Thats the part now that i think of it thats bugging me the most. Maybe I'll just get used to them. At least there warmer now too. All in all I missed my boots, and I'm happy to have them back.

Please?

2007-02-13T21:23:26Z

Please Snow Please Snow Please Snow Please Snow Please Snow Please Snow Please Snow Please Snow Please Snow Please Snow Please Snow Please Snow Please Snow!!!!!

No more rain!

we need a really big storm!

Valentine Fun

2007-02-13T03:03:29Z

So ok, maybe I did have a little too much fun. But after a 11 hour day at school, I needed a break.